Adam and Eve – Breaking new ground

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By the Green Witch, our correspondent on gardening, environmental topics and grounded issues

Adam and Eve soon found out that life outside the Garden of Eden was everything but a walk in the park.

After wondering around for some weeks (trying to avoid snakes of all kinds), Adam decided to settle in a nice spot next to a lake nestled between the mountains. Together they build a little sod cottage with a thatched roof.

Eve encouraged a few chickens to take up roost by throwing out some scraps from the table and Adam herded a few sheep into a pen. Adam felt that he needed some fresh air and wanted some he-time and decided to go hunting and explore the land.

At the same time, Eve was stuck at home and she was also bearing the consequences of the apple and the snake with Cian growing in her belly. She knew that this child could hardly live on meat alone and she had to make a plan.

Thus she went along and moved the chicken pen along with the sheep pen and industriously started to dig over the soil where previously the chicken and the sheep roamed.

She stuck a fig branch into the one corner, got some stinging nettle (a pioneer crop) to grow and low and behold – some lentil seeds appeared on her doorstep before too long and she planted those as well.

Thus it came about that Adam returned from his hunting trip with a few legs of something or another virtually on the brink of suffering from scrubby (as a result of eating no vitamins).

Eve soon prepared a delicious meal with the legs of something or another and some hearty veg. Adam soon felt a better man and he was there when Cian was borne.

Cian would go down in history as the first criminal on the planet, and his mother eve as the first person to practice permaculture.

She also planted some vines and soon discovered how to make the sweetest grapes into a deliciously seductive drink.

Poor old Noah had to suffer for that in a few years.

It is only now that we realise how wise Mrs. Adams was.

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