Communicating with heart

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I’ve received my fair share of emails where the sender is angry and rude. Sometimes they copy in others and let go with a diatribe. It seems strange that the sender of an email doesn’t pause to think what they are sending and how it will come across.

Where is the courteousness that is required in human communications? Just because their communication is done on a screen and they can hit the send button, does that give them the right to be obnoxious, aggressive and belligerent?

Dale Carnegie, the author, lecturer and speaker, said that if you want to attract bees, give them honey. He was talking about having a pleasing personality. In fact, a pleasant, friendly personality is one of the cardinal characteristics character traits that a successful business person, whether a small business owner or a manager of a large operation needs to have.

What are the underlying causes of all this tension. It seems to be that it relates to the stress levels in society and the workplace. People can justify their rude behaviour because they want to get things done, and get them done quickly. 

There are erroneous beliefs: that if you are a nice person, warm and have heart, you will be trod over. The person who is considerate, courteous and calm, shows a lot more strength of character than does another person who is an aggressive loudmouth venting off hot air whether it be verbally or in their written communication.

When people send you rude emails or are rude to you in person, you have two choices: do nothing or confront them but in an unemotional and calm way. It takes strength of character to tell another person what you don’t like about their communication (not about them so they can save face) and would they refrain from repeating their behaviour. 

There are also specific techniques and approaches that you can use to make your communications more friendly and warm. Communicating with heart in business requires that you learn specific techniques that change the way you communicate with colleagues, suppliers and customers. Will it cost you a lot of money to learn and acquire these techniques? Not really. It’s not about the money. It’s about your tolerance for taking other people’s abuse day in and day.

Some people might say that you can’t change behaviour and perhaps they are right. All you can really do is to work on your own sphere of influence and build and grow your own character .

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