Respect. It’s one word, but it carries a world of meaning. People crave respect in all sorts of ways, and I’m not talking about the formal kind—respecting rank, age, or authority. Instead, I’m thinking of the subtle, everyday ways we navigate respect in our relationships. It’s a fragile thing, like glass: when cracked, it’s tough to fix.
Even friendships that span decades can shatter because one party feels disrespected. It might not even be a major incident—just a buildup of little things. Respect, after all, is about knowing boundaries: when it’s okay to joke and when it’s not, when teasing crosses the line, or when sharing a private moment becomes a public spectacle.
Take friendships, for example. Have you ever had that one friend who spots your bottle of good red wine and helps themselves to a generous glass without asking? Or the friend who hears you’re vegetarian and just has to make a snide comment like, “I’d never give up steak for a plate of grass.” It’s not the action itself—it’s the lack of regard for what matters to you.
Then there’s time. Some people often don’t respect other people’s time. You invite them over for a meal or a braai, and they roll in half an hour late without so much as a message. But let’s flip the coin: how many times have we promised to meet someone at 6 p.m. only to arrive late ourselves? Time is precious, and how we treat it reflects how much we value not just others but also ourselves.
Messaging etiquette is another battleground for respect. On WhatsApp, for instance, some people take days to respond to messages. You send something on Friday, and they only get back to you on Monday. In early relationships, this can sting even more. How many heartfelt texts have been met with a curt thumbs-up emoji 12 hours later? Isn’t this a form of disrespect, especially when it becomes a pattern? It feels like ghosting in slow motion—gradually showing you that your time and effort don’t hold the same value to them.
Respect also extends to personal boundaries, particularly in relationships. I’ve come across instances where men and women don’t respect these boundaries—like a man becoming overly familiar and flirty with someone else’s partner. Now, this gets tricky because your partner might be open and allowing, especially if they’re the touchy-feely type. In situations like these, both parties are showing a lack of respect for the other person. These seemingly small behaviors can create major rifts and drama in people’s lives. It pays to avoid being overly familiar with anyone unless you know them very, very well.
Respect isn’t just about these small moments; it extends to privacy too. Some people respect your boundaries, while others treat your life like their personal Netflix documentary. Ever had a friend overshare something you told them in confidence? Suddenly your private life is the highlight of dinner conversation. Respect and privacy go hand in hand, and when one is broken, the fallout can be deeply personal.
But here’s the twist: while we’re quick to point out when others fail to respect us, how often do we reflect on our own behavior? Self-respect is the foundation of it all. It’s about respecting your health, your finances, your relationships, and even the environment. If you consistently let yourself down—whether it’s through unhealthy habits or compromising your values—it becomes harder to demand respect from others.
Respect is also tied to recognition. Many people crave respect for their achievements, their work, or even their carefully curated image. Social media thrives on this. Think about those who post daily on Facebook, meticulously crafting a life they hope others will admire. Sometimes, the need for respect drives people to extremes, rationalizing disrespectful behavior or pretending it never happened.
Ultimately, respect is about balance. It’s in the way you treat the cashier at the supermarket, the bartender pouring your drink, or the pedestrian crossing the street. It’s in how you honour other people’s choices and how you draw lines around your own. And yes, it’s in whether you ask before pouring yourself a glass of someone else’s wine.
At its core, respect starts with self-respect. If we honor ourselves, we’re more likely to extend that honor to others—and to demand it in return. Respect may be subtle, but its impact is anything but. So, do you crave respect in all sorts of ways? The answer is probably yes. And that’s okay. The real question is: how are you giving and receiving it today?
