In an age where we post, text, and talk more than ever, keeping parts of ourselves private has become strangely difficult.
Oversharing can get you into trouble—but it’s hard not to do if you’re a naturally open or gregarious person. For those who feel isolated, the temptation to connect by telling too much can be even stronger. Yes, it’s good to be warm, candid, and friendly—but as social media and constant communication blur boundaries, the question becomes: how much is too much?
The issue resurfaced this weekend in a Dear Abby column. A reader, signing off as “Closed Mouth in Nevada,” confessed that they used to overshare, underwent therapy, and now struggle with awkward encounters with people who remember their past indiscretions. Abby’s advice was simple and sharp: smile, say hello, move on—and resist saying more.
That exchange struck a nerve. Oversharing isn’t just a digital-age problem; it’s a human one amplified by modern life. We’re encouraged to be “authentic” online, yet judged harshly when that honesty goes too far.
The Self-Revelation Dilemma
A wave of new and recent books is tackling this paradox—how to stay open and genuine without crossing the line into too much information.
In We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter (2017), journalist Celeste Headlee argues that oversharing often comes from poor listening. When we talk too much about ourselves, we lose track of our audience and of balance. Her fix: listen more, talk less, and pause before responding.
Similarly, therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab’s Set Boundaries, Find Peace (2021) identifies oversharing as a symptom of weak personal boundaries—often driven by the need to connect or please. “Boundaries aren’t walls,” she writes. “They’re the lines that let relationships breathe.”
Other voices are adding nuance to the conversation. Jamie Wilson’s TMI: Too Much Information (2025) takes a witty, fictional look at how spilling too much—online and off—can backfire spectacularly. Meanwhile, Joy Watts’ Stop Oversharing Workbook (2024) offers a hands-on approach to rewiring our conversational habits and protecting privacy in the era of “share everything.”
The Old Rules Still Apply
What’s striking is how modern psychology and classic etiquette converge here. Where Emily Post once advised against “talking at table about one’s ailments or bank balance,” today’s experts say much the same—just translated for the digital world.
I remember reading Emily Post decades ago, long before smartphones and status updates, and thinking how quaint her rules seemed. Now, they feel prophetic. Her century-old wisdom—think before speaking, respect the listener, and leave a little mystery—may be the best advice yet for our noisy, overexposed age.
After all, good conversation, like good storytelling, often depends on what you don’t reveal.
