Ah, the seasons are turning in the Western Cape. The golden hues of autumn are giving way to the promise of winter rains, and with it comes a tradition as old as damp ceilings—painting season.
It’s a roaring trade, a veritable gold rush for anyone with a roller and a vague idea of which end of the brush goes in the paint. Walk down the Cape seaboard right now, and you’ll see ladders perched at perilous angles, walls half-covered in what might be the correct paint, and the unmistakable scent of cheap turpentine wafting through the air. It’s the smell of opportunity.
Let me tell you, based on the quality of work I’ve seen, anyone can break into the painting business. No experience? No problem! No tools? Even better! Most painters seem to arrive on site armed with nothing but confidence and a good story. Need a roof scrubbed before painting? Sorry, no scrubbing brush. Need a fascia board fixed? Hope you’ve got a rusty old nail lying around because they sure don’t.
And paint? Oh, that’s a tricky one. See, many painters don’t actually know which paint to use. But fear not—they have a system! Step one: march into Midas or another paint supplier. Step two: look confused until the salesperson takes pity on them and writes out a list. Step three: present this list to you, the client, with a casual, “Just pay for this, and we’ll be good to go.” Step four: mysteriously disappear without said paint or, if they do return, use whatever half-empty cans you’ve got in the garage to “make do.”
Timekeeping is another curious phenomenon in this industry. The standard agreement? “We’ll work till 6 PM.” The reality? A strong commitment to knocking off at 3:30 PM, because let’s be honest, the work isn’t going anywhere. Then there are the elaborate tales—missing workers, family emergencies, sudden unavailability of essential items (like, say, nails). Each day brings a fresh batch of creative fiction.
But here’s the real kicker—fast forward a few months, post-rainy season, and many homeowners will start noticing the inevitable: peeling paint, streaky walls, and the unmistakable signs of a job not quite well done. And where will these painters be? Long gone, like migratory birds, except instead of heading north, they’ve vanished into the great unknown, their phones suddenly out of service.
So, my advice? If you’re looking for a quick way to make money, now’s your chance. Jump in! If you’re even slightly more competent than the average Cape painter (and let’s face it, the bar is low), you could be raking it in. And if you’re really clever, stick around until the rework season—when desperate homeowners will pay top dollar to undo the disasters left behind.
A foolproof business model? I’d say so. Now, does anyone have a spare ladder? Asking for a friend.
