How do you handle those awkward little social moments with some semblance of etiquette?
Often, someone whips out their phone and says, “Let me show you my pictures.” Harmless enough on the surface. But then it turns into endless scrolling as they try to find that one photo they swear they just had. You stand there like a lost fart, waiting and waiting, making polite noises while they flick through 2,000 blurry thumbnails.
And then, of course, they finally find the photo—usually a sunset. But not just one photo of a sunset. No, it’s a series. Each one slightly different from the next, and you’re expected to gush over each variation as if you’re at a gallery opening.
In those situations, it’s hard to know what to do. The polite thing is usually to just nod along and let them keep scrolling, talking, explaining. But I honestly think the proper thing would be to ask first. Something like, “Would you like to see some photos I took the other day?” At least then, even if it’s awkward to say no, you feel like you’ve been asked, not ambushed.
Another one that gets me is unsolicited long explanations. Let’s say you mention you’re thinking about fixing your roof. Suddenly, this person—maybe even someone you barely know—launches into a full-scale lecture on roofing: the types, the materials, the warning signs, the suppliers, their personal horror story, and their cousin’s WhatsApp number who does a good job but only on Tuesdays.
Again, all it would take is a quick, “Would you like to hear what I did when I had roof repairs done?” That small question changes everything. It gives you room to say, “Thanks, but I’m just in the thinking-about-it stage.” Or maybe, “Sure, I’d love to hear what you did.”
It’s the difference between someone shoving advice down your throat and someone offering a little breadcrumb trail you can follow if you feel like it.
We’re all drowning in information—how to do it, how to fix it, who to use, what to buy, what not to buy. A bit of etiquette, just checking in with someone before you start spraying advice, makes all the difference.
And look—I’m not innocent either. I’ve caught myself doing exactly what I’m describing here. I get enthusiastic, especially when it comes to things like music. Someone mentions a genre they enjoy, and my brain lights up with everything I know about it—and everything I think they should know too.
But I’ve started pausing. I now try to say, “Would you like to hear about some of the music I like?” And if they say yes, great—I go on. If not, I zip it. It’s strangely liberating.
Yes, I know this might sound a little pedantic. But it really does lead to smoother, more enjoyable conversations. It also helps stop you from becoming That Person—the one who talks at people, not with them. We all know at least one X-spurt like that. They know everything, about everything, all the time.
Recently, someone gave me a great example of gentle etiquette in action. We were talking about how to revise something we were writing. She didn’t say, “Here’s how you should do it.” Instead, she said, “What I usually do is this…” and shared her method. That small shift—sharing, not prescribing—makes all the difference. It’s generous, not pushy.
These small bits of social grace—asking before offering advice, checking before sharing photos or stories—really do make things better in the real world. They’re not old-fashioned. They’re just thoughtful.
