Has it got to do with the economy that so many people these days talk about money in social conversations?
When I was young, my parents and their friends never spoke about money. Today it’s different. The price of your house. The cost of your car. What rebate you’re getting from the municipality. How much you pay for medical aid. Sometimes the questions get so personal you feel like saying: “Why don’t you just make an appointment with my bank manager and find out my balance?”
But what is the correct etiquette when money comes up in social situations? I have no idea, except that silence is often safest. The trouble is, people push. And once you start answering, even a little, they can quickly put two and two together and figure out more than you’d like them to.
I’ve noticed a few “types” who are especially money-obsessed:
• The big spenders turned worriers. These are the ones who partied hard in their younger years and now, in their fifties, are paying for it. No pensions, no savings, just the constant dream of the big score that will solve everything. They ask, they probe, they compare. Contradict them and they can turn hostile.
• The ex-corporate climbers. Fired before 50, now bitter, but still wanting to know everything: your car’s worth, your rates, your medical aid. They brag endlessly about their children’s salaries. Instead of retraining or improving themselves, they lived for the social whirl, and now it shows.
• The hard-luck cases. Often tied to bad choices — like marrying alcoholics or abusers — they end up stripped of everything. Suitcases, a car, a temporary bed with friends or family. With no pension, they scrape together hobby-income, while still hoping for financial security that never arrives.
These types are always the most money-mad, the most prying. You can’t always avoid them, especially if they’re friends of friends. And that’s where the problem lies: how do you handle these conversations politely without being dragged in?
For me, I’ve decided it depends. Sometimes you just nod and change the subject. Sometimes you laugh it off. And sometimes, you keep very quiet and let the silence hang. There’s no single etiquette rulebook here. Just a bit of self-protection — and a reminder that your private finances are exactly that: private.
