It isn’t exactly the most glamorous subject, but I’ve got to get this out of my system. Public toilets in South Africa are becoming a rare species, and when you do find them, they are often overcrowded or “out of order.”
This reality hit home recently while I was at the Garden Centre shopping mall in Cape Town on Friday. I found myself needing to pay a visit to the smallest room, but upon entering the men’s facilities, I was met with a wall of silence. Both stalls were engaged. I waited. And waited. Not a sound. No movement. No nothing.
Eventually, I couldn’t keep it in anymore and called out, “Please, if you’re in there, would you mind hurrying up? I really need to go!”
A muffled grunt was my only reply. Just then, a tradesman in overalls walked in and asked if the stalls were taken. When I told him I’d been waiting forever, he joked, “Maybe they’ve fallen asleep?”
That’s a scary thought. Are people using public cubicles as a spot for a midday nap? Or are they hiding away to scroll through cell phones or meditate? Whatever the reason, it highlights a massive problem: there simply aren’t enough places to answer the call of nature.
The Great South African Dry Spell
If you look at the long stretches between suburbs in Randburg, Jo’burg, or Cape Town, public facilities are non-existent. People are often forced to take a comfort break behind a bush or against a tree. Where they find the necessary “stationery” for the job, I have no idea.
Even in beautiful seaside resorts like Fish Hoek and Kalk Bay, the situation is dire. In Kalk Bay, the historic public toilets were actually sold and converted into a restaurant! Now, if you’re caught short, you have to trek all the way to Dalebrook pool to find a clean facility. Down at the harbour, the toilets have been practically hijacked by local businesses—open only when it suits them.
At Long Beach Mall in Sun Valley, it’s a gamble. If you visit during a quiet hour, you might find an unoccupied throne. But during peak times? You’re back to the waiting game.
What Can Be Done?
Town planners need to wake up. We don’t need architectural monstrosities; we need discreet, clean, and accessible areas where people can stop over. Whether it’s the N1 or a suburban main road, the “two-rand toll” at petrol stations shouldn’t be the only solution. Many people begrudge paying to powder their nose, but when nature yells, your wallet has to listen.
How Does the Rest of the World Flush?
South Africa isn’t alone in this struggle, but the global “restroom” landscape varies wildly:
• Europe: In France and Germany, you’ll find high-tech street-side pods. They usually cost a few coins, but they’re generally cleaner than a free-for-all. In the UK, well-maintained “loos” are common in tourist hubs, though an attendant often expects a small tip.
• East Asia: Singapore is the gold standard, with modern, abundant restrooms that often feature high-tech wash-and-dry options. In Southeast Asia, you might encounter more “squat” toilets, but they are usually accessible in cafes and transit hubs.
• The United States: Surprisingly, the US has a major shortage, averaging only 8 public restrooms per 100,000 people. Most are tucked away in parks or transit hubs, leading to a “restroom desert” in many major cities.
• South America: In cities like São Paulo, you’ll find facilities in metros and malls. While fees are common in tourist spots, they provide a reliable place to commune with the porcelain after a long day of sightseeing.
Whether you call it the khaya, the loo, or the restroom, access to a toilet is a matter of basic dignity. It’s time our urban planning reflected that.
